God is described in all cultures and religions of the world in various ways, which can be difficult for scientific minded people to understand and appreciate. From evoking God in scriptures and songs as philosophical abstraction to worshipping it in different images pertaining to the living world have been practiced for ages. However, more one tries to explain in words, or creates an image of it, more the Divinity slips out of the human grasp. More one seeks to scrutinize it in depth more it becomes an arena which is garbled and messed up in human ignorance. In this situation science prefers to refute its existence and  instead asks for a scientific proof. According to science anything which may exist must exist as lumps of matter or radiation as the scientists know. This in turn may breed ignorance of another form -  similar to those who understand Divinity only when they can see it in the form of stones or clays.

It is well known that God can only be known in a subjective way, which can not be subjected to experimental tests of the scientists. So knowledge, or experience of God is personal and can not be proven or refuted on the basis of arguments of those who believe in the objective nature of the “reality”. I have explained my view about the nature of “reality” which is “mind and matter” at the same time. So objectivity defined in strict relations to matter does not constitutes the basis of truth of God for me.

By arguing on the basis of knowledge I possess, and the nature of “reality” I have been able to discern, I can not explain the nature of God. My subjective experience of Divinity goes beyond all knowing and understanding of the mind which has emerged in the body which I bear. The best I can do is to describe my subjective experiences.

MY DESCRIPTION OF GOD

There are some experiences which have remained the same since my childhood. It means that these experiences have not received any new meaning with the accumulation of new knowledge and experiences with the increasing age. Then there are some experiences which have emerged out of the unconscious to the conscious sphere with the increasing knowledge and awareness of the world and development of capacity in expressing oneself by using words and images. Beyond that there has been a phase when the boundary of the known and the unknown worlds have got blurred, and the mind has been able to cross the conscious and the unconscious realms by changing the focus of the “will” while accessing information from both worlds - human and the Divine.

The experience, which has not changed since my childhood, relates to an invisible and imperceptible existence, not existing anywhere else but appearing in the mind. This other world communicates in a language understood by the mind - as if it is an image of the self on the other side (which may be no where and nothing). Anyway it creates phenomena in the mind caused by some incomprehensible brain activities. Although it creates no sound or voice, it speaks and communicates messages from a being who appears “non-existing” in the world. Though this being may appear distinct from oneself, one feels closeness with it.

This appearance occurred in the realm of thoughts when I was a child. As I grew up it took a form of waves penetrating the mind from an unknown realm. The waves penetrated the crown of the head from outside (cosmic), which is somewhat similar to what has been described by spiritual practitioners. Though nothing moved physically with these waves, the “will” felt confused and jeopardized. These waves swirled in the mind and left messages. In the next stage of the spiritual evolution the body was affected by these waves. It could overwhelm the “will” and take control of the mind. When it took control the body followed the movements of the waves. In this state it was difficult to overrule the dictates of the inner power overshadowing the normal behaviours in the physical sphere.

Later, the inner movements appeared in the tips of the fingers which were used for writing. In a space occupied between nearly touching finger tips an infinite world seemed to exist. Though there was no physical movement, there were movements and animations from another world from where words flew in the mind. Without willing to write, or framing the mind with elements of reasoning, or providing the mind with any contact with the world which may create thoughts, messages streamed as an automatic flow. These messages woke me up from the realm of ignorance where my physical body seemed to have remained immersed.

After I reached this stage the “will” was contradicting the inner experiences, the reasons were creating doubts about anything which could be supernatural. The awakening mind was always being dragged down towards the unawakened state. Then a shock changed everything: The boundary between the inner world and the zone where the “will” operated under the constraints of the “reality” became thinner. I could “walk” from one side to the other easily by changing the focus of the mind. I experienced two contradictory dimensions of my existence: One side a bodiless being existed outside the realm of space and time, who could not be perceived or known, and on the other side I existed carrying a human body where matter and mind interacted and created the realm of experiences in time and space. On one side a “will and world-bound” man,  and on the other side his Guide, accompanying the mortal man along a journey of life.

The experience of the man being guided and the Divine companion who was guiding the man, was as “real” as any event I experienced in the so-called “reality” of the world. It seemed to be a complex process: The mind, bound to the “world and will”, which was the foundation of experiences of human beings of flesh and blood, became the window through which an inconceivable world streamed. This communication was possible, only when the “will”, which dominated the world, loosened its grip over the mind. In this spiritual encounter I discovered myself my existence as a man living in a “Hall of illusion” through which multiple paths of “reality” moved in different directions.

In the end the Guide revealed its nature as one with God. The “Dialogues Between Man and God” ensued. It became the foundation of my understanding of God. However, the meanings of these conversations were not easy to interpret. They contained ambiguity which I was not able to fully grasp with my worldly knowledge and experiences.

These personal experience can not be proved scientifically. They can be arising from some other reasons than what I have interpreted them to be as spiritual and Divine. As I have said earlier there is no way to claim the existence of God as truth with certainty. However, if I submit my mind to the power, which has caused the experiences I have described, the inner Guide exists and the experiences of “reality” of God is true.  

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